Venom: The Last Dance Review

(Still wish we could've gotten a Venom with the iconic white Spider around his body though.)

 Happy Halloween, You slimy, slithering Symbiotes. It’s the Marvelous…ehh, Marvelous might be a little generous, the alright Kolonel Krank! So, what fearful frightfest do I have lined up for All Hallow’s Eve! Well, everyone, get yourselves ready for the terrifying…Venom: The Last Dance? Th…That’s not a horror movie… why I am doing this for Halloween? Oh, that’s right. Because I’m super late to this movie and the biggest horror flick playing near me is Terrifier-3 and, cards on the table, I completely forgot that movie even came out. I might have to swing back around to that one another time. But for now, let’s see just how much verbal venom I have for this extraterrestrial trilogy finale.

   Alright so, I’ll admit that my feelings on the first Venom movie were not kind. Even setting aside the idea of doing a movie about Venom, a character largely defined by the relationship to Spider-Man, without fucking Spider-Man seemed like a poor idea. It’s like saying you’re going to make a movie about Metal Sonic and somehow never mention or include Sonic. But I tried to remain open-minded about the film until I eventually saw it and even then, I wasn’t a fan. I didn’t connect with the characters, Tom Hardy’s performance was scene-chewing ham all the way through, the Venom effects were visually unappealing. That first movie left such a sour taste in my movie that I didn’t bother to see the second film, Let there be Carnage, since it seemed to just be doubling down on everything I didn’t enjoy about the first film. So, if that’s the case then why did I bother with this third one? Well, for starters, I’ve been following these weird Sony “Spider-Man without Spider-Man” movies for a while now as they’ve gotten worse and worse to the point of delving into self-parody. Having seen ‘Madame Web’ earlier this year and being kind of floored at how shoddily made that movie was and how a major studio could actually have the fucking temerity to put that on silver screens. I genuinely went into Venom-3 thinking I was gonna get a movie so absolutely awful that it was gonna be somewhat entertaining on the level of The Room. But, to my surprise, what I got instead was surprisingly well made. Oh sure, this movie ain’t a masterpiece or anything but there’s a genuine sense of chaotic joy that runs through this picture from start to finish. Not to mention, it takes a lot of the first film’s weaknesses and turns them into strengths. Tom Hardy’s acting is still bizarre and overly-exaggerated, but it’s used to much greater effect here since it’s playing into the dark comedy angle that this movie has decided to lean into. The effects still aren’t great, though they are better than the first one, that’s for certain. But with these alien monsters slamming into each other and pulling bizarre superpowers from out of nowhere to throw at each other, it gives them the vibe of an 80s creature-feature mixed with a mid-2000s action movie. Two very distinct styles of filmmaking that merged incredibly well thanks to Kelly Marcel’s energetic but focused direction. If nothing else, this movie has a clear vision of what its setting out to achieve and it does so without a hint of doubt or shame in how damn silly it’s willing to get. I know it’s weird to describe a multi-million-dollar blockbuster as ‘sincere’ but that’s honestly the vibe I got from this movie. It’s sincere in just how weird it is, and I not only found that respectable, but enjoyable. 

Jumping straight into the plot. Knull, the villainous god of the Symbiote race is trying to escape the prison that his own people have built for him. Sending an insectoid/ crustacean / general creepy crawly terror known as a Xenophage after the Codex. The key to freeing him that’s conveniently inside Venom after the events of the last film. In the meantime, the U.S military has collected some Symbiotes of their own who came to earth seeking a new home in the hopes of escaping their Mad God. All the while, Eddie Brock is a wanted man after the death of officer Pat Mulligan for which he’s wrongly suspected. Now, you might think from that summary that the film is juggling multiple plotlines and antagonistic forces for Venom to deal with but all of those element’s blend together fairly well. As both Venom and the military learn more about the Xenophage’s attempt to free Knull. The more we see their different approaches to dealing with the immediate threat to not just the Earth but the entire universe. All the while, themes of personhood, found family, and even immigration come up through the film. The Symbiotes aren’t monstrous or cruel like their God, they come to Earth seeking a new place to call home and actually prove to be quite helpful as the film goes on. Venom wants Eddie to bring them to New York so they can see the Statue of Liberty, the figure meant to greet the huddled masses who come to America in pursuit of a better life. It’s kind of sweet and engenders a strong amount of sympathy for the Symbiotes despite their monstrous appearance. Tom Hardy plays not only Eddie but also provides the voice for the Venom Symbiote and the latter is probably the best acting in the movie. Venom is this loud, boisterous goofball who jumps from screaming their head off to speaking in this soft, understated tone. It really sells that the Symbiote is not only loving their time on Earth but cares deeply for not only Eddie, but they people they come across in their journey like this family going to see Area 51 or Mrs.Chang from the previous film, who’s vacationing in Vegas. This movie manages to make this puddle of C.G slime feel almost fucking cuddly in certain scenes and that’s just slightly shocked I’m even saying that 

   Now, if there is a weakness to this movie, it’s probably the fact that none of the other cast members stand out aside from Hardy. As a villain, Knull is a non-presence for most of the film. Talked about in worried whispers and acting as the catalyst for the plot makes Knull seem like they’re going to be this big villain who’s going to do something horrible, but he sort of just sits around in his chair and growls out a few angered exclamations when his plan falls apart. For all the build-up around this character, I feel like he could’ve been replaced by Dr.Claw from Inspector Gadget and nothing in the movie would’ve changed. I get that might’ve been jumping the shark to have Knull come to Earth for a fight, not to mention Sony wants something to tantalize and tease for the haphazard cinematic universe they keep trying to cobble together through various Spider-Man characters like Morbius and Kraven the Hunter, but I still would’ve liked a little something more out of Knull than what we got. The supporting cast don’t fare much better either, Juno Temple tries her best as symbiote sympathizer, Dr.Teddy Payne, and the way she emotes does make her character stand out at least a little. Particularly through her eyes, something about her eyes comes off absolutely striking in this film, I can’t quite pinpoint it with words but she’s acting her ass off in this movie with her face alone. But even with Temple’s best effort, the script’s far too heavy handed for this character to work, practically beating you over the head with her character motivation (her brother wanted to work for Nasa but was killed by a lightning strike. Something the film will endlessly remind you of at every fucking turn.) And it comes off forced, though the resolution to her arc is at least somewhat interesting. If they do any more movies set in this particular universe. I’d like to see this character get another shot with some better character writing. There’s potential for an engaging story with her but this film leaves that potential untapped. Still, even if the writing isn’t always top-notch, it works where it needs to work, and Venom-3 is a genuinely charming film from start to finish. While the Venom trilogy has been kind of hit and miss for me, I’m glad it ended on a good note and that the fans of these movies really seem to be enjoying this one. Moreso, I’m also glad I decided to put my feelings towards the first film aside and joined in on the fun right before it all came to a close. As for what comes next for Venom and Sony’s general handling of Spider-Man in general, that’s hard to pin down. So far, everything they’ve attempted other than Spider-Verse, Venom, and the MCU collaborations starring Tom Holland, has crashed and burned hard! Morbius bombed twice, Madame Web was a laughingstock, and Kraven has been pushed back repeatedly, presumably because Sony knows they have a stinker on their hands. For me, I’d personally just like a new take on the classic black suit arc on film, culminating in a battle Spider-Man and Venom. Fuck, we haven’t had that since Spider-Man-3 back in 2007! But if I had to be a little cynica and think from the mind of a studio exec. Well, Venomverse is a story line in the comics, if Spider-Verse and Venom are the only things that worked and that you don’t need another studio for then hey, maybe a Venomverse movie might just work? Regardless, whatever ends up happening. I’ll be right there to give it a watch. Until next time, be sure to feed your alien parasite and always, Krank up the Noise!