Kolonel's Krank Movie Musings

  (Here we go, been wanting to talk about this one for a while) Bah-weep-Graaaaagnah wheep ni ni bong everybody! It’s the Skullkrunching kroc in kommand, Kolonel Krank, here with my review of the latest theatrical roll-out from everyone’s favorite Robots in Disguise, Transformers One! Directed by Josh Cooley and produced by longtime Transformers filmmaker Micheal Bay, along with Lorenzo De Bonaventura, the producer of the previous seven Transformers movies (yes, there’s really been that fucking many of these movies. Even more if you count the 1986 movie adaptation of the Generation 1 cartoon and Predacons Rising, the finale film for Transformers Prime.) Transformers One is a complete reboot One starring Hollywood alumni Chris Hemsworth and Bryan Tyree Henry as updated versions of Optimus Prime and Megatron. Here seen before their transformations (no pun intended) into iconic figures known worldwide. The movie presents the pair as a couple of mining bots named Orion Pax and D-16, li...

(Before I relentlessly shit on this thing, I will admit the design is nice. The Ps5 already has a pretty striking look and this doesn't fuck with that too much so that's good.) Alright, with the Ps5 Pro being revealed today and everyone giving their own 'hot takes' on the consoles, I'd figured I throw my hat in the ring since, believe or not, I am technically a game journalist (well, aspiring game journalist) The movie reviews were really meant to be more of a side project and a way for me to either glaze a film I really enjoy or vent my feelings on films that bugged me, (or in Borderlands case, kind of just express my feelings on the series as a whole and remind people about the insane amounts of theft that went into making the second one but let me stop myself before I get sidetracked.) Honestly though, as I sit down and really think about this the Ps5 Pro and everything we currently know about it, I find myself more confused by this product than anything else....

Hello there, proficient practitioners of penciled artistry, your favorite Kremling in Kommand here and holy shit, like holy shit, I think I may be at a loss for words to describe the movie I just saw. AfrAId from our good friends at Blumhouse. A film that I would imagine that most people didn’t realize even existed since, in their infinite wisdom, Blumhouse just sort of shat this thing into theaters two weeks after Aliens: Romulus and a week before Beetlejuice Beetlejuice. Honestly, I can only see two possibilities as to how this thing got released. Either someone at the studio knew how bad this thing was, even by Blumhouse standards, and just tried to quietly rip the bandage off and see if they could recoup at least some of the money they sunk into this mess or Jason Blum saw the continual debate about Artificial Intelligence, which have been a such a hot-button issue that concerns around A.I was one of the motivating factors behind the recent WGA and Sag-Aftra strikes, and cynicall...