Alien: Romulus review

Hey Paisanos! It’s favorite kremling in command here, Kolonel Krank! I just got out of the theater from seeing Alien: Romulus and I got to admit, I’m actually a little surprised at how good this movie turned out. Admittedly, said surprise is partially from the fact that I had very low expectations for this film, even with the abundance of positive buzz around it. You see, Alien has a franchise has never been what one might call fortunate. Which is a nice way of saying that almost every Aliens project after the first two movie was a bit of a shitshow. While the original ‘Alien’ is a beloved cinematic classic and it’s immediate sequel ‘Aliens’ is equally high-regarded. The series quickly went of the rails with Alien3, which burned through script after script and was essentially ghost directed by producers at Fox much to the dismay of David Fincher, the man originally meant to helm the project. After that came the bizarre mess that was Alien: Resurrection and the dud of the Alien vs Predator duology (Although, I will admit that I have a soft spot for those movies if just because of seeing two guys in monster costumes smacking each other around is always a quick way to my heart) Then came the parade of (alleged) false advertising that was Aliens: Colonel Marines (on a side note, it is deliciously ironic to see an Alien film blow the Borderlands movie out of the fucking water. Karma’s fun, ain’t it Randy?) A fairly interesting attempt at something new with Prometheus that unfortunately didn’t quite live up to its potential, and subsequently followed bloated bore of a sequel with Aliens Isolation. Finally, the last word on Aliens for me was the excellent Alien: Isolation. A loving follow-up to the original film that ignored the uncoordinated bumbling of the series up until then and masterfully weaved an intricate atmosphere of horror that felt true to the original vision of Alien while carving out its own identity. 

 While this little diatribe above is far from a comprehensive retrospective, there’s a staggering amount of Alien games, comics, toys, sybians, food. Think of an artistic medium or product and it’s probably had a Xenomorph stamped on it at some point or another, there were even Alien Toys advertised and sold to kids by Kenner in the 80s. Yeah, that’s a great idea, hey kids, want some action figures based of this incredibly violent horror movie about a literal Dick-Head Alien brutally murdering people in spades?! Sound like a good time, yet?

 Regardless, all this to say that the Aliens series has been a fucking quality roller coaster that often feel impossible to predict, even projects that seemed like easy slam dunks can go off the rails and turn into something so blisteringly awful that you have to wonder how things even got to this point. So, just to be on the safe side, I made sure to keep my expectations low as possible to avoid any disappointment the film could hope to inspire and what do ya know? When you set the bar so fucking low that an anesthetized tortoise with chains wrapped around its legs could clear it, you end up having your expectations both met and ultimately exceeded immensely. All right, all right. I know that sounds a little harsh when I lay everything out like that so let me get into what I actually enjoyed about the film, starting with what may be its strongest aspect. The set design and atmosphere! I mentioned Alien: Isolation earlier and the way that game manages to evoke the original films while still remaining distinct and Romulus does the same. While the mixture of antiquated technology of the 70s mixed with a futuristic sci-fi setting feels right at home with the style of the first movie, Romulus cleverly takes thing in its own direction mainly through the sheer oppressive visual noise that permeates the film. From the crowded mining colony bustling with workers and lit only by fluorescent lights, to the titular ‘Romulus’ ship being in ruins by the time our central cast come aboard. There’s always so much detail in any one shot that it not only makes it how to discern who or what might be in the background, but it already makes me anticipate a second viewing to see if I can pick out any easter eggs or hidden elements that went of my head during the first viewing.

 The whole film is cluttered and overwhelming in a fashion that would be detrimental to any other movie but works perfectly with Aliens, its as if the characters are rabbits running through a dense field trying to avoid a hawk swooping down at them. As much like rabbits, you desperately want to see these characters make it out of this alive since, aside from maybe one character, the cast doesn’t fall into the usual horror movie trope of having characters so viscerally unlikable that you’re counting the minutes until the Xenomorph starts splitting them open like baked potatoes. Quite the opposite actually, the characters who end up on the Romulus are an endearing crew made up the downtrodden working class, brow beaten and fucked over by Weyland-Yutani so badly that they’re willing to whatever it takes to escape the overwhelming oppression that permeates their lives. Even if it means boarding a derelict ship and having a Xenomorph use their sinew as dental floss. Probably the highlight of the cast to me is the resident android, Andy, played by David Jonsson of West End fame. He goes from this soft, caring soul who suffers from mechanical lockups (essentially android seizures) and is very clearly autism coded to a cold, calculating machine who’s perfectly willing to do some outright cruel shit if it means the majority surviving. Jonsson sank his teeth into the role harder than even a Xenomorph could and plays both side of the character wonderfully, snapping from one to the other so seamlessly that it’s almost hard to believe that this is the same actor that times. 

While Jonsson’s performance as Andy is easily the best in the movie to me, everyone in the cast turns in some great work. Even when you can tell they’re meant to be aping someone else of the previous movies, they put their own spin on it. Cailee Spaeny’s Rain is a perfect example of this, while Rain’s clearly meant to evocative of Ripely, being a strong-willed, tomboyish, dark-haired young woman forced to persevere during a horrifying situation. Spaeny gives a memorable, unique performance that allows Rain to carve out her own spot in the Alien series as her own distinct character. Though she’s very cynical after living her whole life being exploited on a shitty mining colony, she still retains a kind, empathetic side that makes her endearing. 

 Last thing I want to touch on is the effects and admittedly, this is where one of my complaints come in. Don’t misconstrue me here, most of the time, the effects look great. I don’t know if they used practical effects or if it was all C.G but there’s an insane amount of attention given to how the Face-Huggers and Xenomorphs move. The way the Face-Hugger poise themselves to strike, arching their backs and tensing the legs as they get ready to lunge at potential victims to the loud thuds the Xenomoprhs make with every step, just filling the room with noise and truly making it feel as if the creatures are everywhere at once. It’s just that while most of the visual effects are genuinely masterful, that only makes the few times they do falter all the more obvious. I won’t get in spoilers but there’s a sequence towards the latter half of the movie where the C.G gets very shoddy, and it genuinely looks 10-15 years out of date. I don’t want to be too critical; I know things are rough for VFX studios in Hollywood right now but this is still a Disney production, I would imagine the House of Mouse could throw some extra time and money behind these scenes to make sure they match up with the rest of the movie. Also, while I’m airing out grievances, there’s a few direct callbacks to the first two Aliens movies that are a little cringy. Again, can’t say much because of potential spoilers but there’s a part where a classic line gets reused, and it’s so forced that it feels like the actor did not want to say that. It legits feels like something a producer came in and said “Include that, it will make audiences point at the screen and go, I remember that so it good.” And indeed, when that line was dropped, everyone in the theater clapped, fucking clapped! I don’t know, maybe I’m being a negative nelly here but I don’t think every one of these legacy sequels needs to keep throwing in scenes reminding the viewer of the original films. It’s often jarring, awkward, and just makes it feel as if the movie makers are too afraid that the film can’t stand on its own two legs without evoking its predecessors, which is a shame because that’s exactly what Alien: Romulus does. It manages to be something fresh and new in the Alien series while not straying too far from the what made people fall in love with Alien but it seems even the folks who made the movie can’t recognize that. 

 Overall, I highly recommend Alien: Romulus. If you’re a fan of the first two movies or Alien: Isolation then this will absolutely stand alone those as a classic, if you’re someone new to the series but want a good bit of atmospheric horror then you’ll also be in the right place. See it in I-Max too if you can, the immersive surround sound and the better picture quality really make it feel like the Xeno is crawling around your theater, just waiting to pounce. Now, if you’ll excuse, I have a pain in my chest and I need to go get that checked out, probably nothing though….right? Until next time, be sure to tune in and krank up the noise. Though maybe not too loud this time, don’t want anything hearing you in the dead of night.